Posts by Tag: birth

on having a doula

Posted by on December 14th, 2011 | 2 comments »

Once a week for the past eight weeks I’ve been awoken at 3:30am.
It’s the sound of the street sweeper, onerous and disruptive, passing by.

I’m delighted to hear it.

The sound of the truck passing reminds me of time spent in labour anticipating the arrival of my newborn baby.

Leading up to the introduction of my local street sweeper I had sought out a doula to be by my side those 2 months ago. I have known since I welcomed my first baby I was going to have a doula, a midwife, or a highly bribed labor & delivery nurse should I ever birth another child.

With our firstborn and twenty hours in to an induced labour, my husband and I felt lost as our nurses began to fight over whether I should be pushing.  Four additional hours of hard pushing later, my body was exhausted and my baby was still “stuck”.  The medical team went MIA as they called for a caesarian only to discover the OR was still booked.  My husband, my constant support, was fuming.  We gradually regrouped and he helped me funnel my discouragement into enough energy that our son was finally born with the aid of a funny looking bicycle horn called a vacuum. I hadn’t had a vision of an ideal birth, but I knew something had gone awry. When I inquired how many stitches I had, my doctor replied something in the manner of how easy it was to lose count.   The nurse who gave me a peri bottle used the word ‘balloon’ to describe a small area that should fit between my legs.  “Hmm, Epsom salts and stool softener twice a day”, the nurse who discharged us said with congratulations.

I booked my six-week checkup for a week later.

I’ve hung on to these vivid memories ever since.

Pregnancy is a vulnerable time to ask someone to help find what makes you comfortable and guide you through labour, delivery and post partum. Trust me, it pays off.  If you ask mothers why they chose their specific doula, they will likely say something just “clicked”. For me, I sought out a doula who could be my emotional but also objective support in labour.  I wanted a confident handholder, knowledgable resource for comfort measures and coach.  Adding in personal characteristics such as a willingness to be a teammate with my husband, a listening ear with a dash of an analytical head shrink, a great masseuse, a baker who could lend me a cup of sugar and also a woman of faith to thank God for my baby when I met him or her, I met Wanda.

What my doula brought to the table, figuratively, was a game board with all the options lain out, appreciation for the birth process, consistent care and a vote of confidence.  We discussed the fears of labour as well as any expectations before, during and after the birth I had.  We met, emailed and called several times before the birth. She reviewed my birth plan and helped me stick with it. My doula kept me informed with current literature, standard procedures and also facilitated options presented to me during labour.  She also willingly answered my call to attend my bedside as I laboured through the night.

Literally, she brought me a cup of sugar for baking banana bread at midnight while she timed my contractions. A bag of tricks to keep me comfortable from labour to delivery and a notebook were her trusty companions. After the birth she brought me a letter to my newborn that recalls the story of his birth.  Details that I will always cherish.

As my thoughts drift me back to sleep each week I have often found I rest on the support offered to me labouring through the early hours of that particular night.  There’s a heat pack around my middle, TENS machine patches on my back, a soft pat on my arm that reassures me I can relax and kind congratulatory words of confidence, so calm and soothing.

There’s nothing left to process, there’s no “what if”.  I listen to the loud whirring of the street sweeper and feel the vibration come and go like a contraction and then return around the block to pass by once again.  I hear the rise and fall of my newborn baby’s breath. I might not awake refreshed in the morning after this weekly ritual or the sleeping pattern of my newborn. I wake up grateful for the reminder the passing street sweeper brings me of my recent transition of pregnancy to mother of two. Any mental block or fear I had about labour vanished with my recent delivery. Having a doula somehow both prepares and helps a mother’s mind heal and rest from the process of birth. She sweeps away puddles of self doubt, tidies up where you can’t and offers a clean path (and a good night’s sleep).   Street sweepers optional.

Local doula resources:

Nova Scotia Doula Association
Chebucto Family Center Volunteer Program
Drop-in breastfeeding support clinic at Nurtured led by doula, Jen Hammond

(My personal thanks belongs to Graceful Beginnings!)

Becoming a parent

Posted by on November 27th, 2011 | 2 comments »

Pure Utter Joy by Jane McCrae

If a picture says a thousand words, there is one photo that might as well be an essay on becoming a parent let alone experiencing real, unedited life.  National Geographic is in week 11 of voting for photo of the year.  In my early days of being home with baby, I’ve had some time to peruse.  I can’t get enough of this photo.

When I saw it for the first time, it brought tears to my eyes.

Yes, the hobbyist photographer in me was smitten with the beautiful vantage point and the Ansel Adams’ zone shading.  It’s visually stunning.

As a mother, I swooned.

I sat holding my newborn baby staring at the breathtaking photo.  I paused. I simply love the glimpse it offers.

I was eager to share it on our social media sites, as was the author of the post in which I found it where she listed it as the photo of the year.  (Note the post edit.) Fans on our facebook page shared it and commented with much the same interest.

I’ll admit I even looked back at the photos my husband and doula happily snapped just weeks ago searching for this same expression at the birth of my son. It’s simple.  It’s beautiful. The midwife-turned-photographer captured it so well. On her facebook page she writes, “It’s the raw, simple moments in life that we cherish for a lifetime. I am still on a high after capturing this beautiful home waterbirth in the early hours of this morning. Women are awesome.”

When a tiny human being is placed in your arms it elicits the joy of life that is difficult to describe exactly.  Snapped at such a raw moment, the expression on her face is euphoric.  In it I see the challenge of giving birth, the exhaustion and utter relief, gratitude, and the rush of recognizing the present and imagining what is to be.

There is no greater joy than becoming a mother. I would like to think any woman who has been presented with a child can relate to this photo in some capacity. Please feel free to share your reaction to it in the comments.  I would love to see it win.

I still sigh a week after seeing it.  I’ll certainly be keeping a copy of it near my desk at Nurtured.

 

Welcome, and Goodbye

Posted by on March 6th, 2011 | 12 comments »

In 2005 I was a new mom cloth diapering a tiny baby and feeling very isolated from my existing friends and was having a hard time connecting with new ones. I had faced significant challenges with breastfeeding and didn’t know anyone who could relate to my situation. I started thinking about the path of my life, the impact of every choice I made for my little girl on the world around me, and how I could use the information I learned as an engineer to connect with other parents who, like me, wanted to make a difference for their children, and for our environment.

By April 2006, Nurtured was born. Those first few months were full of planning, research, ordering, building and learning a whole new world of retail and e-commerce. The original Nurtured Products for Parenting website launched in August 2006 and was supported by friends, family, and a few loyal local customers. In those early months I met many women with whom I instantly shared a connection and who have become life long friends. At this time, I was pregnant with my now four-year-old and looking forward to making Nurtured my new career.

Through “word of mom” and networking opportunities locally, Nurtured hit critical mass in the spring of 2007 with a sudden upsurge in growth, which coincided with the birth of my son. Those early months were challenging, and I burned the midnight oil building a business between feeding an infant for weeks and months on end. I also participated in the “My Fair Baby” shows hosted by the Midwifery Coalition, gave cloth diaper workshops throughout HRM at yoga studios, stores owned by friends and acquaintances, and in my own home on a weekly basis. Babywearing workshops followed, initially in collaboration with my friend Tory at her (now closed) shop, Next In Line, and then, after an invitation from local doula Robyn Berman, at Uncommon Kids in Halifax and Pillars of Health in Dartmouth.

In 2008 another customer became not only one of my best friends but Nurtured’s first part-time employee when Becky Keen joined the Nurtured team one or two days a week. This was following a significant home renovation to move Nurtured from my dining room table to the basement. By the end of 2008, Nurtured had won the SavvyMom Mom Entrepreneur of the Year Award for Atlantic Canada, was still growing very quickly, and it was evident that Nurtured had outgrown its home-based location. That Fall, a lease was signed for our Halifax location.

With many late nights renovating, tag-teaming with my husband while we set up shelving and juggled child care, the Nurtured store opened on April 1, 2009 with a staff of four: Gillian (now Manager), Karen, Annie, and myself. This was incredibly rewarding but also took its toll as I was working 6 days (and sometimes nights) to get the business up and running. I can never thank Gillian, Karen, and Annie enough for their help in those early days.

2009 truly left its mark on me as a business person with the media attention we gained for opening a boutique store in the middle of a global financial recession, and for the legitimization moving to a retail store provided for the Nurtured brand. I also acquired Anointment Natural Skin Care from Anastasia Manolakos, a favourite of mine and MANY others from the Halifax Farmer’s Market, and began working on improvements and marketing strategies Anointment products, which stood out to me for their natural ingredients, lack of unnecessary “stuff” and high quality.

In 2010 Nurtured won the Small Business of the Year Award (Silver) presented by the Halifax Chamber of Commerce, was nominated in the Better Business Bureau Ethics Awards, Was 2nd Best Eco-Conscious Business in Halifax as voted by the readers of The Coast magazine, grew from a staff of four to a staff of eight, and essentially outgrew our retail store. I am very proud of all these accomplishments.

Also in 2010, I learned we were expecting our third child and both my father and my husband’s mother suffered significant health issues. With reality setting in of having a child in school, one in pre-school and an infant, we were faced with some difficult decisions. Having worked so hard while my son was a baby to build this business and the resulting burn out it caused, I had to consider carefully if this was the path my family wanted to continue to follow. My husband was also provided with the opportunity to transfer his job to another office, which would allow us to move closer to both of our extended families. With a deep breath and a lot of discussion, we decided it was time to let someone with fresh eyes build Nurtured while we cheer and watch from the sidelines.

The search for a buyer began and concluded with a lovely husband-and-wife team, Eric and Jolyn Swain along with their five-year-old son. Eric is a Nova Scotian who was longing to come home, and Jolyn, with a business background and a birth and post-partum story not unlike my own, was very excited to be part of a business with such a strong sense of environmental ethics and community. I have been working with Jolyn for some time now and I am very impressed with her knowledge, kindness, and desire to continue the community that Nurtured has become.

Over the next few weeks you will see Jolyn and I together frequently as she learns the fine details of what makes Nurtured tick. Of utmost importance to me was that the staff also be retained, and I’m happy to say that Gillian, Karen, Simone, Sarah, Jessica and Melissa will remain at the store, so you can be sure that the customer service you have been accustomed to will continue.

Jolyn has many fantastic ideas for making the great things about Nurtured even greater, and the team will remain strong and focused on the natural parenting ideals that makes Nurtured special.

I have experienced a lot of emotions over this huge change in my life, but I can say with confidence that you are all in very good hands. I will still be a regular at the store as I deliver my third baby sometime in the next three or so weeks, and I will be working away on Anointment over the years to come.

I want to thank each and every single person who has shopped in the store, come to a workshop, attended a breastfeeding support group, picked up a card for a local doula, asked for help, advice or just wanting to hear a “I’ve been there, this too shall pass”, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Nurtured is very special to me: like one of my own children, and it is my sincere wish that the Nurtured community will welcome Jolyn to the Nurtured family with open arms.

Cheers to the great circle of natural parenting enthusiasm we have all built together, thank you for allowing me to be part of it, as I will continue to be from the sidelines of my Anointment workshop, the soccer field, or wherever life takes me as I take some time to focus on my children and my family.

With love and gratitude,
April

32 Weeks

Posted by on January 20th, 2011 | 3 comments »

32 week belly

Probably as many have seen me around the store as have not, but in case you haven’t, here is what I’m looking like these days – in the last weeks of my third pregnancy.

I had planned to chronicle this, my last pregnancy, week by week, detail by detail, but life has literally passed before me with a lot of decisions to be made and a lot of preparations to make in order to accommodate a new baby into our lives.

The first trimester was the longest, with persistent nausea, fatigue and hunger. I can’t really complain, Smith’s Bakery and Fred’s Whet Cafe probably experienced higher than average sales as a result of my hunger. Have you ever eaten a slice of Smith’s Bakery Pizza? Do you realize how large they are? Now, I was eating two of these per day. HUNGRY. Nausea for me is never that bad, and in fact has lessened with each pregnancy, but there were days that it just wouldn’t leave me, which made those particular days long, especially with two other children to care for.

With the thirteenth week came energy – I was super woman, able to take on just about anything, and made good use of the time and energy I had. And just like that, the twenty-eighth week rolled around, and Scotian shook his head, lamenting I needed to ‘hang up my cape and crown’. I’m slowing down appreciably, wanting to be asleep by 7:30 pm. All in all, I feel good, this pregnancy has been easy…and when it’s easy, it is also easy to focus on other things, which is why I haven’t documented this pregnancy at all.

As per usual I’ve gained a significant amount of weight – 40 pounds and counting – everywhere. I’m not too concerned, but just before I found out I was pregnant I had began running, lost ten pounds and really enjoying it. In fact, I ran right up until about the third month, when it just got the better of me.

I’ve been taking better care of myself – just look at this team of professionals:

Which also perhaps helps to explain my lack of pregnancy-related complaints, of which I had FAR more last time(s). I also discovered the Tres Tria co-sleeping pillow, which has worked wonders to relieve the aching pain in my hips at night. This pillow is so comfortable and will come in very handy when the baby comes – we will be co-sleeping if for no other reason that there is no space left in our current home for a crib, and we’re not ready to move just yet! Good to have a barrier so the baby doesn’t roll out of bed, and our son likes to crawl in with us in the middle of the night, so it will help create a barrier between siblings.

I have been on the search for a good nursing bra for the store, and on Melissa’s recommendation I’m trying out some bras that have enough support for pregnancy and room to grow for breastfeeding. So far, I’m very impressed and hope to have them in the store very soon!

I’ve also been devouring books at an alarming rate. I have read lots of pregnancy books, so this time I am moving on to parenting books. I just re-read You Are Your Child’s First Teacher, which has reminded me of the calm, Waldorf approach to parenting that I try to incorporate into our daily lives. It’s a fantastic book that begins at conception and birth to age 6, perfect for the spread of my children!

I’ve been working on Christiane Northrup’s Mother Daughter Wisdom since the store opened in 2009. It’s a long one, and I’m still not finished, but it is truly fascinating and has helped me understand my own mother, our relationship, and my daughter. It’s a great read!

There are several more books still to come, though my time is starting to run out.

I also feel a burst of creative energy while I’m pregnant – part of me knows it will be a while before I get back to my own creative pursuits and part of me feels propelled by the energy of creating a new person. It’s a fantastic time.

You’re probably wondering about diapers? This baby will be cloth diapered from birth, I have a bag of newborn diapers packed for the hospital. After three children my stash varies considerably, but I’ve got:

All in all I’ve probably got about 36-40 diapers. While I normally recommend a minimum of 24 for a newborn, given that I have two other children and have collected a lot of these over the years (I have bought a lot of new though, who can resist?), I’m happy to be able to stretch my diaper laundry a little further!

Don’t even get me started on baby carriers, that’s another post for another day, but I am really, really looking forward to a new ring sling, which is my personal favourite newborn carrier!

Breastfeeding 101: Why You NEED To Learn About Breastfeeding Before Your Baby Is Born

Posted by on January 11th, 2011 | 4 comments »

A post by Robyn Berman, CD (DONA), PCD (DONA).

If you are a first time mother, or if you experienced any troubles breastfeeding your first baby, I believe it is imperative to learn as much as you can about breastfeeding and lactation in general before your new baby arrives.

Why, you ask?  Well, as a birth and post partum doula and breastfeeding educator, I have met dozens of women who, unbeknownst to them, began their journey through motherhood not knowing much about breastfeeding except that it was the “right” or “best” way to feed their baby yet experienced intolerable pain that led to very early weaning, post partum depression, disconnection with their newborn baby, and extreme lack of self confidence.

I am here to say to you: it doesn’t have to be this way.

Imagine going in to an exam unprepared.  If you go in blind, you won’t recognize any of the material, you will start to sweat and have anxiety, you may even lean over and try to cheat by copying what the person next to you is writing (which, by the way, is not always the correct answer!).  If you are prepared, you have knowledge that will guide you through the exam.  You may not remember every exact detail, but the information you studied will be accessible once you are triggered by the content of the exam.  And while you may not get it 100% correct, you will at least have the mental ability to get over the hump of the tough questions and walk away from the exam feeling pretty confident.

Apply this same logic to breastfeeding.  Sure, nothing can or will prepare you as much as having the baby in your arms.  But, if you know the terminology, if you understand our human instinct to feed from our mothers, if you learn about milk production, if you read about latch, and most importantly if you are armed with support for those moments in the early days after birth when it all seems to be falling apart at the seams, you will have the emotional and psychological ability to overcome the bumps in the road.

Yes, breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed our babies.   But, it is not naturally known.  You have to learn how to breastfeed and your baby has to learn how to breastfeed.  Each subsequent baby you have is a unique person and will have to learn for themselves, just as the first one did.  The reason why mothers of more than one breastfed child seem to have an easier time breastfeeding each subsequent baby is because they have more confidence, less second guessing, and the hindsight of knowing what to expect and how they might problem solve.

Breastfeeding 101 will leave you with more confidence, less second guessing, and some ideas about how to problem solve.  It will also leave you with ongoing support, not only with me as the facilitator, but with support from your partner (who will hopefully join you at the workshop, but if not have access to the material afterwards), and from the other women attending the workshop who are having babies around the same time as you.

The number one key to a successful and long term breastfeeding relationship is SUPPORT. See you on February 7th at Nurtured!

Workshop begins at 6:30 pm and runs until approximately 9 pm.